Why I Hated Iron Man 2.

Iron Man 2 hit the theaters this past month and it was a huge success. People loved it, comic nerds and the general public alike. It deserves its success. Everyone that had a hand in making the film should be proud of themselves. It was fucking epic, having said that, I did not like this film.

Did I hate it? No I didn’t, that just a way to get you to read this blog post. But I didn’t love it and was extremely disappointed with it. And I’ll get to my reasons. I just want to make clear that I’m not going to bitch about Terrence Howard being replaced by Don Cheadle as Rhodey. This kind of shit happens in Hollywood all the time and to be honest it wasn’t an issue for me. I think that they’re both fantastic actors, but they really didn’t bring anything special to the character. Also, I’m not going to bitch about the comics and continuity and if the film got anything wrong, the only Iron Man stuff I’ve read in the last few years before and since the movies have been whatever comic Brian Bendis was writing him in and when Matt Fraction and Salvador Larroca launched Invincible Iron Man, as a tie in to the movie and as main Iron Man book in the Marvel Universe. (If you haven’t read Fraction’s Iron Man, fucking do it now, it’s an amazing comic.)

I’m going to start at the beginning, all the way in May of 2008, when the first Iron Man film came out. I was so fucking excited to see this movie. I couldn’t wait. I thought the cast was perfect and everything that I saw from the film, the trailers, the tv spots, the actors and directors talking about it, I was fucking pumped. My only gripe was the use of “Iron Man” by Black Sabbath, because the song had nothing to do with the character, but I understood why they used it, because if you don’t know the opening of that song or the guitar riff to that song then where the fuck you been man? Seriously.

I saw this movie in the theater twice. What does that tell you? I fucking loved it. It was fantastic, the focus on the man in the iron suit as opposed to the flashy looking superhero. It was a great look at the character of Tony Stark. Was it a perfect film? No. But it was very enjoyable and is up there as one of the best comic book movies of all time. I honestly believe that. There were some flaws. The final battle between Iron Man and Iron Monger (That was the bad guy’s name even if they don’t say it in the movie) was way too short. But, who cares, the end of the film was fantastic. I smacked myself in the face when the SHIELD Agent reveled that he was working for SHIELD, I couldn’t believe I didn’t figure that one out. Tony Stark looking into the camera and saying he was Iron Man was fucking bad ass. It was all attitude and ego but it worked. It was awesome. I was pumped for Iron Man 2 as soon as the film ended, and then the excitement was multiplied by 10 when we get to see Sam Jackson as Nick Fury at the end. BAD ASSER!

I want to add as an aside and as a (7 a letter words in a row!) fan of Robert Downy Jr. that this movie did not, I repeat did not bring back his career in Hollywood. Did it help? Of course it did, how could it not, but RDJ was doing great films before Iron Man came out and he’ll do them afterwards too. RDJ did Zodiac (Fincher), A Scanner Darkly (Linklater), and a couple other movies, and also Tropic Thunder, because that movie had to have been made either right before or right after he filmed Iron Man, so he wasn’t cast in that because Iron Man hit big, if anything Tropic Thunder used it to its advantage.

Flash forward almost 2 years later. Iron Man 2 is coming out. The actors and director are doing press, prescreening the film, showing clips on late night. Everything you need to do. Hyping the fuck out of this film. I bought in to it. I’m not gonna lie, like I said, I was waiting for this movie since the first one ended. The trailers were fantastically put together and mixed with the awesomeness of AC/DC it made it even that much better.

So opening weekend hit and I went to see Iron Man 2. Actually I was so excited I bought my tickets the day before to make sure that I would be able to see the film the day it opened. I was fucking excited.
I left the theater so disappointed.

I was in such disbelief of how much I did not enjoy the film at all. I was heartbroken. Honestly, I don’t know why but I was hurt that I didn’t love this movie.
So what was it? Mostly, it was the pacing of the movie. Sure there were awesome action scenes, like the fight between Whiplash (Mickey Rourke) and Iron Man at Monte Carlo, it was bad ass. But a lot of the movie was set up for the finale battle and the final scene which was fucking short as hell. This was supposed to be an all out struggle and personal fight between Iron Man and Whiplash. Whiplash had so much hatred for Tony Stark, and its one thing to say it but another thing to show it. He had plans but at the end for him to just give up so fucking easily was a cop out, it was bullshit and it didn’t make it any more personal. He just laughs and that’s it, kaboom, over.

One thing I liked about the first film was the way it ended and to have this movie end with the hero getting a kiss from the damsel in distress was such a cliché, Christ did I not need to see that, I got the point that he needed to prove that he deserved her and he had to prove himself but honestly, it’s a cliché for a reason.
Other things I didn’t like the birthday scene where he’s drunk and acting like a fucking asshole. Again, I understand why he did it but Pepper and Rhodey are suppose to be his friends and he can confide in them so I didn’t feel sorry for him in that scene, it was more pathetic than it being a struggle with inner demons, and the Gallagher impression was fucking stupid and unneeded.

The Cap shield being used a prop was dumb, no reason for it except, hey look at that. Too much Nick Fury, way too much Nick Fury. And the scene saying that they’re not taking him into the Avengers, really? Are we honestly supposed to buy that? That Iron Man isn’t going to be in the Avengers, especially since anyone with half a brain can put together that these movies are setting up an Avengers movie, and not having (as of now) the most recognizable hero of the team not on it. Come on. Give us a break. There’s other stuff I didn’t like that I won’t get into but mention real quickly, too much Jon Favreau, not enough Scarlett Johansson, the fight between War Machine and Iron Man, and the loss of charm the first movie had. Tony Stark was an asshole in the first movie, but he was charming and funny in the first movie, I don’t know if it was that the charm wore off or the script but this time around he was just an asshole.
Was the movie a complete waste of my time? No, that’s a little harsh. There was a lot of stuff I did like, such as the Monte Carlo scene at the racetrack, Mickey Rourke’s performance, Sam Rockwell’s performance, and the after the credits scene that I won’t spoil for the 1 person (if that) that reads this blog post.

So, with all that said, I’m looking forward to the Thor movie, not really crazy about the Captain America movie, but I’ll see it, of course I’ll see it. And with Joss Whedon rumored to be directing and helping out with the writing of The Avengers movie, well I’ll totally fucking be there for that.
Thanks for reading, comment if you like.